JC: Oh, sorry to disturb you, I was just getting some peace and quiet in this roof garden, before turning in. I’ve never been in a hotel with a roof garden before. In fact I’m hardly ever in Hotels, a B &B is more homely.

JC: It’s much the same with me. My parents had some bad experience way back, something about them always being full-up when you needed them….. But a garden’s a good place when you’ve a lot on your mind.

JC: And I do have a lot on my mind. Also I’m not as young as I used to be…

JC: Only 66,  I’m told…..

JC:  Yeah, that’s right…..hey! Wait a minute. How do you know me?

JC: Come on Jeremy Corbyn, your face has been all over the news for weeks now!

JC: You’re not one of the papparazi  are you? Cause if you are, I’m not talking to you. I’ve been in public all day, talking and giving interviews. Now I need peace. Please go away.

JC: I’m not a journalist. I just came here to Glasgow to visit Rose Gentle, she’s a friend. She was saying she likes what you’re saying.

JC: She’s a good person. How do you know her? You don’t sound like a Glaswegian.

JC: I’ve tried to give her a bit of help ever since her son was killed in Iraq.

JC: So, Mr…..Mr…. You never introduced yourself….

JC: Jesus.

JC: Well, that’s a problem….

JC: Why?

JC: Because I don’t believe in you and even if I did, I wouldn’t expect to be talking to you in a hotel roof garden in Glasgow.

JC: You don’t need to believe in me to talk to me. Perhaps there’s something on your mind you could share with someone you don’t believe in. If I don’t exist, you won’t have given away any secrets.

JC: Well, OK Mr. Jesus, I’ll tell you what’s getting to me. I’ve put forward my policies for the Labour Party and the nation as honestly as I can. Now my opponents say I’m a nice man but just out of date. My views belong to another time and are now irrelevant. And of course, I did form my views when I was younger, so maybe they are right…..

JC: I’m not a politician, but I can tell you’re an honest man.

JC:,But maybe an out of date honest man?

JC: I’m not going to approve or disapprove your policies, but never fall for that stuff about being out of date. Truth and justice are never out of date. They’ve been calling me out of date for almost 2000 years. Romans arguing that I might have been all right for 1st century Judaea; intellectuals saying I might have been useful in the Middle Ages; Richard Dawkins telling people that science has disproved me; ordinary citizens saying that it’s the 21st century and time to forget me. I’ve always been out of date.

JC: So would you vote for me?

JC: As I said, I’m not a politician, in fact I’m not even a UK citizen. I’m just saying, don’t listen to abuse about being out of date!

JC: if you’re not a UK citizen, what are you doing here?

JC: Maybe I’m an asylum seeker…. I’m often associated with people who’re in danger of being binned.

JC: I hope that’s not why you’re associating with me?

JC: I hope not too. I’ll leave you now. Good night JC.

JC: Good night, eh….JC, and thanks.

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