I have never vaped but my brother and my daughter did so

Before they died, both too young, leaving me with a shadowed

Image of the habit, its bold effusions marked by death, the bright

Smoke they puffed so easily in restaurants linked to the white

Output of crematoria chimneys. Provision for the vaper is astonishingly

Rich and varied. An iPad screen grab from a vast catalogue gives me

Strawberry, Strawberry Ice, Watermelon Strawberry, Strawberry Passion,

Strawberry Nic Salt, Strawberry Coconut Ox, and you can reject fashion

In favour of Nicotine Grade X, while the vape pens are ever suaver.

With more than seven thousand selling points in Scotland you’re no farther

From a vape than a bet, especially in the poorest areas of the country.

You might guess that sucking chemicals into your body is not wonderful

For your health, but as vapes are also addictive you are unlikely to stop.

Police suspect that half of all,outlets are controlled by criminals who want

To sell drugs or launder money and may not be nice to know. Capitalism

As usual has been smart in making a cheap addictive provision

for the world’s poor, the state capitalism of China, forbidden

to sell artificial flavours at home but anything it likes elsewhere,

being particularly effective. So, smile along with Jimmy Graham

in Gourock as he sucks his Bubble Gum ‘n Jelly Babies, vaping,

as he blows his Football Pie ‘n Brown Sauce into the air of spring,

as he draws on his Irn Bru ‘n Isotonic Vitamins to make him daring

enough for Big Babs Brown who caresses her tonsils with Sharing-

-For -Two Bananas ‘n Cream!  Uff-Puff, Uff -Puff, since there’s no escape

From the pleasure of this habit, and you’ll be victims of the rape  

Of the poor by the rich, say goodbye as you die with a vape!