Our daughter Eleanor died on 21st April of this year.


The voice says, “People will argue you can do without me.

You can’t. Yes sure, you can gather your determination stoutly

Around you, you can make yourself a paragon of moral virtue

But you will know it is not salvation. It’s like a skirt you

Put on for work but you’re not comfortable in it. When you come

Back to me you know it’s the relationship that counts, the lightsome

Knowledge that you don’t face the day on your own, but with me,

For I can blunt the edge of every trouble and add felicity

To every pleasure. I call this the kingdom of heaven, not a flight

Into the supernatural but my sharing of your everyday, a sunlight

In your heart, like the song says. Conventional wisdom tells you

Never surrender but remain the captain of your soul and all’s well. New

Philosophy is against belief, anything irrational can lead to slavery.

But you and I, we have a history that contradicts this havering;

Times of partnership written in your memory and your blood,

Awaiting new life when once again we bond. Don’t hold back, sod

The sensible advisors and their counsel. Maybe your allegiance

Has to be secret at times. Putting it on your CV might not advance

Your career, nor indeed according to popular psychology, improve

Relationships, so flaunting it defiantly is not a good move

And secrecy is wise. Be sure that breaking up would be a real disaster.

When tempted just remember I’m your Lord and Master.”


Some identify this as the voice of God, so let me level

With you, reader: it’s the voice of alcohol and the devil.

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