The world has been delighted with the story of Ms. Rohan Beyts who this week sued the management of the Donald Trump golf course near Aberdeen for taking photographs of her URINATING in the long grass as she crossed the course towards the sea. Ceratinly she had protested publicly against building this golf-course but she stated that her action was only related to a CALL OF NATURE and was not in any way a protest by different means. Her fellow Scots believe her because they consider that the owner of the course and his management are not worth even a millelitre of Scottish URINE.
Evidence showed that at least two male security operative sprang into surveillance mode when they saw the petite figure of the dangerous agitator making for the sand dunes.
“Uh-uh, buddy, guess we got a problem here….”
“Yeah, looks like this dame’s gonna PEE-PEE…..you think we should intervene..?
“No, she’s movin’ too fast, it’s too late to stop this atrocity…..
“She’s gonna SPRINKLE HER TINKLE all over the sacred surface on which the Great Leader has trod…. we gotta…
“We gotta act with supreme courage….. and video this crime….
“Good thinking buddy, yeah, just switching on now, and wow, we get this horrendous crime by a member of ideologically- motivated elite having a JIMMY RIDDLE where honest good golfers might land a ball….”
“Sure could be sabotage as well as public insult…like uh once she’s gone, some unsuspecting golfer lands a ball where she’s been DRAINING THE RADIATOR….
“And then maybe he picks up the infected ball and you never know what disgusting disease he gets – we gotta think of attempted homicide here….”
“Just keep the camera on this dame. she’s got no respect, no rescpect at all, shamelessly TAKING A WHIZZ in front of these cameras..”
“Sure is one long TROGGLE, soon be dinner time…”
“Boss man´s not gonna like seeing this video, what with it being a dame HOSING THE LAWN, uh, like the boss knows how to deal with dames, uh, like he said…..”
” Look Buddy, she´s movin´on now she´s MADE HER BLADDER GLADDER, we gonna confront her with the evidence?”
“No way, bro’, uh-uh, boss doesn’t pay enough for us to risk our lives with a terrorist like her, like a woman who could do this to a golf-course, just think what she could do to a human being-”
“So I need to go to the cops with evidence of this jihadi “POWDERING HER NOSE” while you phone the White House to update the boss…”
” So what’s the word from the boss, bro’?”
“Uh, well, uh, he asked if we were ……..TAKING THE PISS!”
“Strange, buddy, that’s the exact same expression the Police Sergeant used….”
Ms Beyts, now celebrated in Scots legend as THE URINATOR (to match the man who fought the Glasgow Airport terrorists, John Smeaton THE SMEATONATOR), falied to win her case but celebrated nevertheless and said ( honest!) that she was RELIEVED it was all over.