DETRITUS

Gendarme 1. ……it’s a word I saw in the crossword today, eh, “detritus” meaning sort of, rubbish, eh..JUST KEEP WALKING QUIETLY YOU…..D’Y HEAR ME? D’YE HEAR ME? (sound of baton on shoulder) They pretend they don’t understand, ’cause they’re from Syria or somewhere…..D’YE HEAR ME NOW ABDUL? RIGHT, THAT’S BETTER…. what was I saying?

Gendarme 2. You were speaking about detrite….

Gendarme 1. Yes, detritus. It means garbage, stuff left over or thrown away, you know, so if the wind’s blowing onshore you get detritus from all parts dumped  at the tide line, eh,

Gendarme 2. ….plastic containers, polythene packets, paper, sanitary wear ….WHAT D’YE MEAN WHERE ARE WE TAKING YOU, WE’RE TAKING YOU WHERE WE WANT….AND YOU DON’T HAVE ANY RIGHTS, SO SHUT UP. YOU JUST BEEN CAUGHT TRYING TO CLIMB INTO A  LORRY. D’YE THINK WE WANT YOU HERE? IF IT WAS LEFT TO ME I’D SEND YOU ALL TO ENGLAND WITH A LITTLE TAG SAYING PRESENT FROM FRANCE, OK?  …Jesus, they should get some of these bleeding- heart- treat- them -with -dignity people out here at night on overtime in this rain and see how they feel….. …..eh condoms..

Gendarme 1.. …what d’ye mean condoms?

Gendarme 2. like you were saying .. eh … detrite…. stuff washed up on the beach…..

Gendarme 1. Detritus. Yes. So nobody wants it, it’s no use to anyone, it’s leftovers from every part of the world, see what I mean?

Gendarme 2. No, what you getting at?    OK YOU GET FRISKED BY THE MEN AT THIS GATE AHEAD. IF YOU GET FUNNY THEY’LL BEAT YOU SO JUST BE GOOD BOYS…..

Gendarme 1. Hadn’t you noticed…(laughs) … they’re both women?

Gendarme 2. Jesus, so they are, not my sort of women mind….

Gendarme 1. What I’m getting at is what these migrants are. They’re detritus, they’re what some one else has thrown away and now it washes up here, in Europe, in France….detritus! Oh-oh we’re going to have trouble. They’ll object to being searched by men….

Gendarme 2. Well they’ve just finsihed with that bloke, they want us to escort him as well,  how many hands do they think we have?

Gendarme1. GET ON GIRLS, DON’T STOP, YOU’LL ENJOY SOME NICE FRENCHMEN CHECKING YOU OVER, I SAID MOVE ( sounds of baton on body) MOVE!

Gendarme 2. MOVE BITCHES! (sounds of baton on body), JESUS!

Man. You shoud be ashamed of yourselves….

Gendarme 2. YOU STAY OUTA THIS PAL, YOU’VE BEEN FRISKED, SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH UNLESS YOU WANT SOME TOO….

Man. You should be ashamed. hitting helpless people, hitting women who’re only asking for decent treatment….(sounds of baton on body)

Gendarme 1. WE WARNED YOU STUPID DON’T GET IN OUR ROAD….

Man: I have memorised your numbers and will report you to your officers….

Gendarme 2. SO WE’VE GOT A SMARTARSE HERE…. ARE YOU SURE YOU’LL STILL HAVE A MEMORY WHEN WE’VE DONE WITH YOU…..

Gendarme 1: WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?  HAVE YOU ANY PAPERS?

Man. I have no papers and my own country doesn’t want me

Gendarme 1. SO THESE WOMEN ARE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. DO YOU HEAR? NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

Man.You should think of your own mothers and wives, would you want anyone to treat them this way?

Gendarme 2. NOW THAT WAS A BAD MISTAKE PAL. ME, I GET REALLY ANGRY IF SOMEONE COMPARES MY FAMILY TO SCUM…

Man. You have to ask who is behaving like scum here….

Gendarme 1. WE WARNED YOU, YOU’VE ASKED FOR IT (many sounds of batons hitting body, groans).

Gendarme 2. OK, OK, he’s had enough, think he’s unconscious,

Gendarme 1. Yeah, he’s out but still breathing OK, even if his nose is smashed, call the paramedics, report him as injured resisting arrest, then we can leave him with our colleagues here until they pick him up, eh are you listening, what are you looking at?

Gendarme 2. Look at his body ….

Gendrame 1. What?

Gendarme 2. How did we do that….bruises and scars all over him, we didn’t do that, must have happened some other place…

Gendarme 1. Probably somewhere he wasn’t wanted. Like I said. Detritus. Let’s go, now.

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