If you don’t want to go doolally

better watch what you swally

I worry that the offers of brain-function tests I get online

Are because AI knows I’m over 80 and spend more time

On my pad because I’m slower than I was. I would like

The reassurance but I’m scared to try. What if it said: Mike,

See your Medical Practitioner? That sends me to all the sites

That tell me what to eat and drink, and what not, to stay bright

Until I die. (My wife does crosswords to prove her brain’s ok

which works for her, but as I’m bad at them, they’d prove me dopey)

if you don’t want to go doolally

better watch what you swally.

So for a start it says, “Not more that sixteen units of alcohol

A week” and I reckon on half a bottle three days out of a whole

Seven, but my wife laughs and reminds me it’s three glasses of red,

Preceded by a couple of white. “Well, that’s still only fifteen if you add

It up.” And the aperitif you often drink before the meal, it doesn’t count?

Not to mention that you think a unit is a glass whereas the true amount

Is one and a half maybe two glasses.” I decide that I won’t promise

Anything; “I’ll think about that” I say, hoping I can give it a miss.

If you don’t want to go doolally

Better watch what you swally

Then there’s what I ought to eat and drink for brain health

Access to which will certainly depend on my wealth:

Clean Ginkgo Biloba Glycosides & Terpene Lactones.

Extra Virgin Olive Oil Organic but beware of phonies.

Berries, beans, nuts, whole grains, oily fish and root

Veg, Cook everything, avoid nice ultra processed foods,

But all this only works as part of a mediterranean diet.

I hope a Domino Italian Pizza counts as at least I’ve tried it.

If you don’t want to go doolally

Better watch what you swally

I’vegiven a whole stanza to the drink that improves IQ

It brought me up to politician level so it may not help you.

Beetroot Juice is the magic potion especially for oldsters

for with its oxide mediated vasodilation it bolsters

cerebral blood flow improving cognitive functionality

increasing social confidence and beneficial pality.

And in case this honest enthusiasm leads you to mock me,

There is a drawback: It purples your urine and your jobby.

If you don’t want to go doolally

Better watch what you swally

It does seem a lot of fuss to get your brain realigned

But mind is incarnate in body and body alive in mind.

A thought will move a finger, and a hand will feel a fact

so food is fuel for muscles and energy for synapses.

This partnership is the only intelligence we know

And AI less than half of it, however it may grow.

It’s also the only life we know-this spider hunts a fly-

And losing interest in food is when we start to die.

If you don’t want to go doolally

Better watch what you swally.