Our daughter Eleanor died 21/04/2020
Suddenly it seemed you were telling me to piss off
And let you be dead; then you went incommunicado
Like a disconnected phone, leaving me
Still trying your number, too sad to
Stop. Now I question all our contact since your death:
Was our dialogue my own invention only
And you, my dear, a character in a play
Designed to make me feel less lonely?
I knew the words were mine yet hoped I’d heard them
Spoken from the other bank of the river.
It was too easy, I guess I hadn’t reckoned
With the cold wind that makes me shiver
To be a walker on this edge from which so easily
We fall to nothingness. Do something, God,
I shout, prove yourself, for if there’s no
Resurrection, you don’t exist. What sod
Could make a world like this without a heaven
For millions whose lives are only pain? “Facts,
You must start with the facts, the facts are friendly,
Even when they show the odds are stacked
Against you, they also bring your hope of healing.”
So let me accept that you are my late
Daughter, and say a true goodbye and weep
And learn how to be quiet, and to wait.
Beautiful and very moving, Mike. I look forward to what you will write about Eleanor and her life. I know her memory will be with you and Janet for ever. God bless you and comfort you. And I’m so grateful that you were allowed to be with her at the very end. That was a gift to you from our loving heavenly Father.
Very sad to read this. I look forward to hearing more about her life, and sending my deepest sympathies along to you and your wife.
Thanks. Online concern is very comforting.